Today while having my beer n listening trance..this thought came in ma mind to gather all the desires of ma life...things which i ever wanted to do...my hidden temptations...my list of things to do in this life...at least this will be the place I'll put all them together...so that after million of years from now aliens can get some idea of a normal stupid human life :P....so here it goes
1) Have to be there waving ma hands in air for TIESTO sound.
2) Want to achieve a perfect body.
3) At least one trance track to compose which gets recognized globally.
4) World tour...that's for sure !
5) Deep sea diving...very deep
6) Want to spend few days with a monk in very isolated place for few days.
7) To be recognized as hard core techie.
8) To get glimpse of space.
9) Take my mom from a candle light dinner.
10) At last i want to die with a smile on ma face with no regrets.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
What it takes to create a good piece of music...dedication, sleepless nights, good rhythm n yeah soothing beats :)...did some modification to the original Tocadisco song...n the final dish is ready :P
Tocadisco-Better Begin (Reprise) by Abletonic
Tocadisco-Better Begin (Reprise) by Abletonic
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Things happened in last few weeks:-
1) Visa got delayed
2) Admission got fucked up
3) Higher studies...screwed up
4) Ok and last one...M IN A DEEP SHIT NOW !
So what shall i do now....ok lets have a look where things went wrong
1) I would have started this whole process bit early...may be 1 month before and finally got some buffer time for completing visa formalities
2) I should have been proactive in taking major decisions and start implementing them.
3) Would have given priority to what my heart says without the interruption of fucking brain.
I am not worried about the financial loss or time....I m worried about my dream which I have lost forever. I know deep in my heart that I'll try once again in future but doubt whether I'll get that strength to rise again or not. I confess that I became bit hopeless and sadist. I am not able to concentrate on things happening in present. It's like waiting for nothing...bypassing my thoughts to a neutral zone, where I am finding myself bit comfortable. I don't want to think anymore about my career, future...etc from now onwards. I had enough of all this nonsense...you keep running for things and at last find yourself standing on the same place...BULLSHIT!.
God knows how many dreams gets shattered in this world daily...how many people dwell in depression everyday.... am just one single guy among them. That's not the way to screw up your present...things will never go the way we think. There will always be hidden reasons and phenomena which will affect the end result. You can't defend yourself...million probabilities, people around you affecting your decisions, the way system works...all these things are uncontrollable. We are mere microscopic creatures in front of them. Then why cry your heart out if you fail once or twice.
It's better if I keep myself mint and accept everything which comes out of ma way. Maybe in future again I'll try or show ma middle finger to these circumstances :)
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Past six months was occupied with so many things...IELTS exam, college selections, Education loan, Visa formalities, construction work....etc. When I sum up all these activities I see myself leading to nowhere. It's like running on a treadmill...Six month before I was waiting for all these visa formalities to be done and now also m waiting for this stupid visa to arrive. What if it gets rejected...what if I am no more interested in pursuing my dream...am I getting hopeless or a fried chicken?...It seems that I still standing on the same point from where I started my journey..nothing seems to me making some sense. Sometimes I wonder what I am upto ?. Why things are not happening in my life?...Why it became so plan boring?...not even a simple routine I am following? Monday, Tuesday...every damn day is same for me...morning comes and then night falls...and again same bullshit. I guess I am getting overly concerned...this is how life moves on or maybe not ! Whatever is going around I can figure out one thing, that this is the worst phase I am facing. Things are not clear as they use to be, I am not able to visualize myself as I use to do before.
This fucking depression is getting over me....m not use to it. I hope everything turns out to be fine before I collapse.