Monday, March 29, 2010

This is it ???

Things happened in last few weeks:-

1) Visa got delayed
2) Admission got fucked up
3) Higher studies...screwed up
4) Ok and last one...M IN A DEEP SHIT NOW !

So what shall i do now....ok lets have a look where things went wrong


1) I would have started this whole process bit early...may be 1 month before and finally got some buffer time for completing visa formalities
2) I should have been proactive in taking major decisions and start implementing them.
3) Would have given priority to what my heart says without the interruption of fucking brain.

I am not worried about the financial loss or time....I m worried about my dream which I have lost forever. I know deep in my heart that I'll try once again in future but doubt whether I'll get that strength to rise again or not. I confess that I became bit hopeless and sadist. I am not able to concentrate on things happening in present. It's like waiting for nothing...bypassing my thoughts to a neutral zone, where I am finding myself bit comfortable. I don't want to think anymore about my career, future...etc from now onwards. I had enough of all this keep running for things and at last find yourself standing on the same place...BULLSHIT!.

God knows how many dreams gets shattered in this world many people dwell in depression everyday.... am just one single guy among them. That's not the way to screw up your present...things will never go the way we think. There will always be hidden reasons and phenomena which will affect the end result. You can't defend yourself...million probabilities, people around you affecting your decisions, the way system works...all these things are uncontrollable. We are mere microscopic creatures in front of them. Then why cry your heart out if you fail once or twice.

It's better if I keep myself mint and accept everything which comes out of ma way. Maybe in future again I'll try or show ma middle finger to these circumstances :)