I came to bangalore....city of joy, pubs, discs and ofcourse our bread n butter "IT"....yes, that's what i heard of bangalore. Everyone here seems to be in gr8 rush, city full of youth and energy. First few days i was mesmerized by the charm of this place "Silicon Valley Of India". After seein crowd of software engg. here, i realized that m just a part of million robots. Ppl who are leading there routine life same as a robot does.
Luckily i found my college juniors here, so for rest of my days in bangalore i stayed in their flate. I didn't find ny problem in mingeling with these guys and moreover hardely i use to get time to talk with them. Saturdays and sundays i use to spend most of my time in cyber cafe..chatting with her :)...that was the only thing which keeps me near to her. Daily we use to talk hrs on phone and chat. Everything was going fine..the way i wanted and expected. But sometimes i use to get lil bit skeptic about long distance relationship...i read loads of crap about it, that long term relationship doesn't stays forever n etc etc. I was having confidence n faith on her that she'll continue in the same way so i started ignoring all this bull****.
Wake up in the morning, wait for her good morning miss call, then rush to office. While coming from office, take hault in cyber cafe...chat for sumtime with her n then sleep. That became my daily routine..daily.That cyber cafe use to open till 10:30 n daily she use to end her chattin sayin "What yaar !!...y this cafe closes so early..today we din't even talked for a while"...:)...After hearing this i use to feel very relaxed that 2day also the same bond n closeness exists...where it's written that long distsnce relationship doesn't works...c it's working fine in ma case..:). Sometime our chatting use to ends up with some kind of hot discussions...which makes her lil bit disturb b4 going to bed. Sometimes i use to pour my feelings on her...i couldn't stop myself...n that thing makes her disturb. Inspite of knowing her answer...inspite of knowing evrythin..then also sometimes i use to lostmy control. Then one fine day i took resolution that i won't chat with her in late night...just for her sake i took such big step. It was a very tough n big decision for me...then also i started controlling myself by reading novel....watchin TV...putting up my time n mind sumwhere else apart from chatting. She also got disturb for a while but then soon got use to it. Now we started chatting in saturdays and sundays only.
As i promised her b4 leaving that once in a month i'll regularly visit hyderabad. We use to meet in barista...the only one place in hyderabad where she feels comfortable :). She likes coffee very much...her eyes doesn't opens if cofffee is not there in morning n that also it should be there on bed. I still remember how we use to fight on counter for payin the bills n always i use to win ;)..still she does the same :). As promised while leaving hyderabad, I started visiting her once in a month. Oh god whatta bunch of sweet memories !! :)....Sitting next to her n keep on staring her eyes as m not gonna see them from tomorrow onwards. Those days she use to wear specs n rarely lenses (but now things got changed..rarely she wears specs)...The way she use to look at me n smile...only one word..AWESOME !....Time passed n one fine day she told me about his good friend "S" (i'll call him by S in ma blog)...She told me about him previously also but i took it light...neways who m i to ask her "what the heck he is doin in ur life"...like him m also just a friend for her. Lemme introduce u ppl with this guy S...he studied with her in school, then in college also....after finishin off his degree he flewed away to US for masters....In college days Mr. S proposed her many times.....but she kept on replyin him same old regular stuff, which she replyed me also..I dunno y girls do like that..first they'll b the only one to say that I LIKE YOU...n when guy modifies that sentence a bit to I LOVE YOU...evrythin changes drastically..U r my friend...i never thought in this way...my parents won't agree...we r from very reserved family..blah blah. Coming back to the story again, so Mr. S got mad n told sum bull**** to her. Finally there so called good friendship got broken. They never talked with each other afterwards. So on that day she told me that Mr. S's sister is not well n he called her from US. He pleaded her to help her in preparing for college exams. She was waiting for that chance or wanted to show him "look still m ur friend"..whatever..but finally she told ok i'll help her. I dunno y the hell she use to tell me all this incidents...previously i use to think "well she has faith on me that's y"...whatever it was, but now it's all crap. So as planned by Mr. S evrythin went fine n at the end again they started chatting on yahoo n phone. The way she use to tell me about him i sensed easily that both are njoyin this reunion after so many days. I never liked calling engaged nos. but then also she use to chat with both of us parellely. I know that sounds crazy but i felt it very bad. So i stopped that limited chatting also....n as i expected she never asked me also again that "G what happen..y u r not cumin on yahoo nowdays"...i wanted to give her comfort in evry aspect whether it's physical or mental...while chatting i use to know that on the other side S is also there with her...so there was no point in asking her again n again "y u r replyin so slow....y u r taking hault in between while chatting..etc"....i thought it's better to drift away from her so that she can njoy her space...N of my surprise she was happy with this freedom..at the end that's what she wanted. It hurts a lot when u see urself drifting away from someone u love n that also when decision is urs :(...Rest in next entry till then bye n take care
See you again