Emptiness all over me !

Past six months was occupied with so many things...IELTS exam, college selections, Education loan, Visa formalities, construction work....etc. When I sum up all these activities I see myself leading to nowhere. It's like running on a treadmill...Six month before I was waiting for all these visa formalities to be done and now also m waiting for this stupid visa to arrive. What if it gets rejected...what if I am no more interested in pursuing my dream...am I getting hopeless or a fried chicken?...It seems that I still standing on the same point from where I started my journey..nothing seems to me making some sense. Sometimes I wonder what I am upto ?. Why things are not happening in my life?...Why it became so plan boring?...not even a simple routine I am following? Monday, Tuesday...every damn day is same for me...morning comes and then night falls...and again same bullshit. I guess I am getting overly concerned...this is how life moves on or maybe not ! Whatever is going around I can figure out one thing, that this is the worst phase I am facing. Things are not clear as they use to be, I am not able to visualize myself as I use to do before.

This fucking depression is getting over me....m not use to it. I hope everything turns out to be fine before I collapse.

G